Fallen
by SplendentGoddess
Summary: "I tried, Inuyasha, really I did, but I just can't take it any more." Tears fell freely from her dispirited eyes. Tears for all the pain she'd ever felt, and for all the pain she knew her decision was going to cause him. "Goodbye." It was only a whisper.


Blanket Disclaimer:

Inuyasha, and the characters therein, are the property of Rumiko Takahashi. I am in no way affiliated with Takahashi, or VIZ Productions.

"Whisper" was written by and is the property of Evanescence. I am in no way affiliated with Evanescence or Wind-up Records.

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Nominated for Best One-shot, Inuyasha Fanguild 3rd Quarter 2006.

A/N:

This story is off-canon and slightly OOC. I don't really believe in the depressed/suicidal version of Kagome, but this story had been a challenge for me to try something new. Angst is not my forte. It's off-canon in that it was written before the manga was completed, and so there is mention of things that are inconsistent with the later parts of the manga, despite the story being 'post-Naraku' in setting. I am rating it higher than the other stories I have already posted on here because of the nature of the themes portrayed, and also because the sequel (yes, there is a sequel called "Risen") contains mature images of a sexual nature. Please take heed that _this _segment deals with issues of depression and suicide.

_._

**_Fallen angels at my feet. __Whispered voices at my ear. __Death before my eyes, __lying next to me I fear._**

**_She beckons me, shall I give in? __Upon my end shall I begin? __Forsaking all I've fallen for, __I rise to meet the end._**

_._

~ Fallen ~

.

Four months. It had been four months since the well had stopped working, locking her away from her family forever. Naraku was defeated, the jewel purified along with him, and Inuyasha had said in not so many words that he loved her. They'd shared more than one moment of passion since the defeat of the dark hanyou, and currently, he was building them a hut with the aid of the village carpenter.

She should be happy.

She'd had a long talk with her mother before the final battle. Kaede had warned her that the well might close, and her family had supported her decision to see things through to the end, assuring her that she must follow her karma, no matter what. They had told her they were proud of her. They had told her that they loved her.

So why wasn't she happy?

Kagome had asked herself that very question on several occasions, but each time she did, the answer was the same. _She _was still around, and the lingering doubt that he might still go see _her _plagued the future-born-miko in the back of her mind.

She tried not to think about it; she knew it would only bring her more heartache if she did. She tried to tell herself that she had nothing to worry about. Inuyasha had insisted that he would be there for her, always, and he'd always keep his word, right?

"Inuyasha?"

But on that particular morning, the feeling of dread Kagome had tried so hard to stamp down over the last four months swelled up within her stronger than ever. She had awoken to find him missing, and that was something _quite _unusual. He was always there in the morning.

So where had he gone?

She'd felt so good the previous day, too, her usual depression over missing her family not having bothered her so much. Stepping outside and taking a deep breath of fresh air, Kagome tried to still the nervous pounding of her heart. In truth, Inuyasha hadn't been to see Kikyou since the night he and Kagome had…she still blushed at the memory. She knew she was being unfair to him. After all, he _had_ loved Kikyou, once. But that was all in the past, right? He hadn't seen her in over two months, not since he'd started building the now nearly completed hut that resided near the Goshinboku, announcing to the entire village that the hut was for himself and Kagome to share. In the ways of the Feudal era, he had proposed to her when he'd started building her that house, and she'd accepted by agreeing to live in it. So what if he hadn't actually said he loved her back when she'd confessed it? That didn't matter, right?

She wished she knew why she was so damn paranoid today.

"Inuyasha?"

Taking a moment to grab her bow and arrows, Kagome ventured out into the surrounding forest, worry creeping in on her with every step she took.

**_Catch me as I fall_**

**_Say you're here and it's all over now_**

"Inuyasha?"

Trudging onward, her unnamed paranoia suddenly gave way to a rather familiar eeriness, when she realized with dread that she recognized the sensation that had been plaguing her all morning. It was the feeling she got whenever the other half of her soul came into relatively close proximity.

**_Speaking to the atmosphere_**

**_No one's here and I fall into myself_**

"No…" she whispered, daring it not to be true, _praying _it not to be true. Suddenly, Kagome rushed forward, and soon the lights of Kikyou's soul collectors could be seen hovering over a nearby clearing.

"Just because she's here doesn't mean he came to see her…" the future-born miko repeated like a mantra, praying to every kami she could think of that when her line of vision breached the clearing up ahead, that she would find her formal self standing alone.

"No…" she whispered again, when she saw that her prayers had not been answered.

**_This truth drives me into madness_**

**_I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away_**

**_If I will it all away_**

Like a train wreck, which she felt was a good way of describing her own life at the moment, Kagome could not look away. She could not look away as _she_ embraced him, as his arms reached up to embrace _her_ in return. Their whispered words were lost in the wind, but their actions spoke louder than any fully throated shout. Without worrying about a direction, considering her very life seemed to be lacking in one at the moment, she ran. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her. She did not hear the voice that muttered her name questioningly as she fled.

**_Don't turn away_**

_(Don't give into the pain)_

**_Don't try to hide_**

_(Though they're screaming your name)_

**_Don't close your eyes_**

_(God knows what lies behind them)_

**_Don't turn out the light_**

_(Never sleep never die)_

The forest was against her as she fled, branches reaching out from the confines of their canopy to rip and tear at her clothing. Roots lifted themselves from their nests within the soil to trip her as she ran. None of those things could stop her, try as they might, though even she knew not where she was going in her delirious determination.

Her flowing eyes were unseeing as she ran, the images of her very nightmares plastered across her vision. He had promised her. He had _promised her! _Promised her he would _never _leave her! How could he? How could he go back to _her_, after they had…after they had…?

**_I'm frightened by what I see, __but somehow I know that there's much more to come_**

**_Immobilized by my fear, __and soon to be blinded by tears_**

Breaking through the brush of the forest that bore his name, Kagome found herself in another clearing, standing atop a cliff. Approaching its edge, she realized she could see the river that was the village's main water supply. She had so many memories of that river. It was right there, where she was standing, that Inuyasha had spied on her naked form for the very first time. He had said it was only to get the jewel shards, but somehow, she'd never quite believed him.

"Stop thinking about it!" she chastised herself. Happy memories were only going to make her even sadder at the moment.

**_I can stop the pain if I will it all away_**

**_If I will it all away_**

Coming right up to the edge of the cliff, Kagome quickly realized she'd never known just how much of a drop it really was from up there. _He _could survive a fall like that, being a hanyou and all, but her?

"Can I really?" she asked nobody, not even herself, as she knew she'd already made her decision. It was a query that had come and gone over the course of the last four months, but not so much so, as of late, until today.

Collapsing to her knees, Kagome permitted her tears to fall as she recalled her life ever since she'd first fallen down the well over two years ago. She was the only one who hadn't been directly hurt by Naraku, and yet, the dark hanyou had taken just as much away from her as he had taken from anybody else. She hadn't made high enough grades to get into high school, what with all the running back and forth between the timelines. At first she had tried to tell herself that she'd simply make the work up later, though of course, that possibility had disapeared the moment she'd found herself permanently stuck in the past. When things had gotten bad, when they'd gotten utterly hopeless, she had always found her light in the darkness in a pair of amber eyes. Eyes that were currently gazing into somebody else's pools of chocolate. Kagome had always found her anchor of sanity in a pair of fuzzy, and ridiculously adorable canine ears. Ears that were currently soaking up somebody else's words of endearment. When Houjou had stopped coming around, and Kouga had mated with Ayame, she hadn't cared, because she'd always felt that her place was within the embrace of a different set of arms. Arms that were currently embracing a cold, lifeless body, animated by half of her very soul. No one knew what it was like to only have half a soul. She'd always had the power to recall it back into herself, too, but she had also always known better than to do so. Even now, even now her heart went out to the man she loved, a man whom so obviously loved another. She could never bring herself to rejoin her soul within herself and take his precious Kikyou away from him. But even so, rejoin her soul she would.

**_Don't turn away_**

_(Don't give into the pain)_

**_Don't try to hide_**

_(Though they're screaming your name)_

**_Don't close your eyes_**

_(God knows what lies behind them)_

**_Don't turn out the light_**

_(Never sleep never die)_

Staggering to her feet, Kagome gazed longingly back towards the woods, perhaps hoping to catch a glimmer of red and silver, perhaps hoping that she would not. Knowing he wouldn't hear her, knowing he thought her to be safe and sound in their bed, she spoke the words she felt needed to be said.

"I tried, Inuyasha, really I did, but I just can't take it any more." Tears fell freely from her dispirited eyes. Tears for all the pain she'd ever felt, and for all the pain she knew her decision was going to cause him. "Goodbye." It was only a whisper.

Wiping her eyes on her sleeve, the miko stepped to the edge of the cliff, loose gravel giving way beneath her feet, trickling down like rainfall. Closing her eyes and taking a deep, final breath, she stepped forward.

Had her ears not been deafened by the sound of wind rushing past her, she might have heard the desperation of the voice that called out her name from above. Had her eyes been open, she might have seen that those flashes of red and silver were in fact just a little late in coming.

It had recently rained, and as a result, it was harder than usual to pick up distinct scents in the forest. Inuyasha hadn't thought he'd needed to sniff her out, having assumed she'd merely run back to the village, back to their friends. How he wished to the gods he had thought to sniff her out anyway.

Leaping from the cliff face in a single bound, the hanyou landed soundlessly beside her still body. Her unseeing eyes gazed mournfully in his direction, and that, combined with the downward turn of her lips, revealed that she hadn't found the peace she'd hoped to achieve in this final act of desperation.

"_Why,_ you idiot? Why would you go and do a thing like _this?" _

Cradling her broken body, Inuyasha refused to cry, as he murmured into her unhearing ears…

"I was only telling her my decision, koibito. I was only telling her goodbye."

Still, he would not cry, because he knew in that moment that all was not lost. Just as quickly as his world had dropped out from underneath him, he remembered something _very _important. Sesshoumaru owed him a favor for having recently saved Rin's life. He would be getting Kagome back, and when he did, he would make sure she knew just how desperately she was loved.

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A/N:

As stated in the author's note above, there is a direct sequel to this one-shot entitled Risen. It does contain sexual themes, but I think the imagery falls within the parameters of what is permitted here. I can't _not _post the sequel, but viewer discretion is advised.


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